By: Susanna Kozlow
As I browsed social media, I read this quote:
“Lord, give me a quiet heart that does not ask to understand, but confidently steps forward in the darkness, guided by your hand.”
As I read it, I felt a familiarity of speaking these words in my many cries sitting at the feet of Jesus. How many times do we beg to understand situations in our own lives and in the lives of those around us? How many times do we desire to know the ‘why’ behind all of God's decisions? It is a question that will forever be a question.
I recently prayed for friends who had lost their child. I can clearly remember my first prayer being dazed and confused. I was unsure how to pray. My mind needed to somehow understand any part of it. As I prayed, I began to stumble on my words, and then I just cried. I then asked God to give comfort to this family. Without understanding, I knew my God is good and faithful. The next day, I seemed to still have questions. Why, God? I needed to know the facts. I fell back on, “My ways are not your ways,” and that is all I heard. My God is much bigger and understood more, and I didn't have to understand in order to pray for this grieving family.
How many prayers are like that when we go to His Throne? When we go to our God, who is El Elyon (The Most High God), Adonai (Lord, Master), El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty), and El Olam (The Everlasting God)?
As I thought through this, I was confident that God doesn't necessarily mind our questions. I imagined a father with his child. If you're a parent, I know there are times you love when you're the person your child comes to with questions. As I am now raising a teen, I pray that my child comes to me. I imagine our Heavenly Father has the same thoughts. God pursues us, and when we get to a place to ask all the questions, I believe our God loves the time spent with Him.
The grace God gives us amazes me, because there are many times I need answers, and in His goodness and grace, He will give me what I need. And then there are times I do not have answers as I wait. Instead, I look around and beg for them. In those moments, I do not understand why there is quietness when I want loud answers.
When I pray for God to please give me a heart to step forward without knowing, but trusting in His decisions, well, that's a very different level of faith, isn’t it? It’s a faith with a confident and calm heart that’s okay without knowing.
As I opened my Bible to examine how Jesus approached this, I saw many times when His disciples didn’t understand and asked questions. He taught them by words and by example.
Let's look at a few of those examples:
“Tell us, when will these things come about, and what will be the sign when all these things are going to be fulfilled?”
Mark 13:4 NASB
And as He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?”
Matthew 24:3 NASB
They asked Him questions, saying, “Teacher, when therefore will these things happen? And what will be the sign when these things are about to take place?”
Luke 21:7 NASB
These disciples had been with Jesus for three years. They knew Him. They heard all His teachings and saw His great miracles. Then, when He said to them on one occasion, "Do you see these great buildings? Not one stone shall be left upon another which will not be torn down," (Mark 13:2) they replied, "When?" They wanted to know.
Oh friend, how many times do we need answers, and how many times do we feel like the world will come crumbling down if we don't have all the facts? How many times do we cry out because we just don't know, and we put our own desires and wants before God's desires and wants?
What I have learned throughout these many times is that Jesus does so much in our waiting. We are placed in a position to put our faith in action. When we wait on God, there are moments in the valley that monumentally give us the blueprint to stand on the mountain.
Maybe you are at a place of waiting. Maybe you're at a place of wanting answers. Maybe you're at a place where your faith and trust have to be felt by you and seen by others, because nothing is ever done just for us. We are not the sole purpose of the grace and goodness and patience of our El Elyon (The Most High God).
Will you do what Adonai (Lord, Master) asks of you as you wait in the unkown?
Will you trust El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty) who knows all things and sees more than you do?
Will you know with all your heart that nothing is ever done without purpose, and your El Olam (The Everlasting God) meets you where you are and is with you to the end?
Friend, today as you go to His throne, sit at His feet. Just sit, and know there is goodness and purpose the moment you sit. From your words, to your cries and uncertainty, God uses it all, and it is good.
You may not have all the answers, you may not know what tomorrow will bring, but you have a Heavenly Father who does…and that is enough.
Lord, help us to have a calm heart.